11.21.2000» You know, if you had asked me at the beginning of the year, "Aaron, what could possibly ruin such a banner year? Sequels to Final Fantasy VIII, Chrono Trigger, Legend of Mana, and Street Fighter all in the same year!"

     Well, the jury has come back with the answer to that question, and answered in the form of Sony's sophomore and sophomoric launch of the much vaunted PlayStation 2. Some may call the launch of the PS2 a success based on the number of consoles sold, but I disagree. Any launch which leaves so many fans, myself included, insanely irritated and disappointed by the inability to get said system is a dismal abject failure in my view.

     Come launch night, I am unable to convince my boss to give me the night off (I work third shift.) Fuming, I plan to call in sick. So I go outside to check the weather, to see if I need a coat to wait in line, when I hear "Hello, Aaron!" By some sheer twisted manipulation of some cruel idiot god, the person my boss would have called first to come in and work for me is helping a neighbor move in. Fuck!

     So I'm like, no problem, I still should get out at about 6am, plenty of time to cut in line (Im a big asshole who pushes people around. Sue me.)

     Enter the idiot god. My boss finds enough chickenshit things for me to do to keep me at work until 7am. I get to Walmart just in time to see the last few lucky bastards getting in their cars with their PS2s. I would have hit one of them except for the fact that the guy had Tekken Tag Tournement and I didn't want to risk contaminating myself with that.

     I didn't get one that day.

          I went home, and I decided that -- as a last ditch effort -- I would order one on ebworld.com (One might notice I didn't make that a link. That's intentional. I hate them and would hate to drum up business for them.) I get to the PS2 page, and lo and behold what do I see... "Ususally ships in 24 Hours."

     Score!

     Not a chance.

     A week goes by, and an email appears in my mailbox...

     Two days later, I hear a knock at my door, and I look at the upstairs window. FEDEX! So Im all pumped to get my PS2. I run downstairs, fling open the door, and nearly burst into flame to see that the box he was holding wasn't much bigger than a videotape. Inside was the game -- Armored Core 2 -- I had ordered along with my PS2.

     Just a game. No system to play it on. Smaaaart.

     About two weeks later, Im working my usual shitty third shift at the grocery store, and this walmart employee comes through my line, and we get to talking about the PS2. He says that WalMart has three on the shelf. After I put my eyes back in my fucking head, Im making plans to go there after work.

     So, Im already sick, and standing outside in 30 degree weather wearing a windbreaker does nothing to improve it.

     At 7am, I run back to electronics. NO PS2. I begin to see red, but I keep my cool. After about 20 minutes, I get some help from a sleepy clerk, who was actually really helpful (thank you sir, wherever you are), who even searches the back room. No PS2s. I go home in defeat.

     When I wake up that evening, I put Vagrant Story back in my PSX and turn it on. Nothing. Nada. The ol bitch finally died. I head to walmart to spend some of my PS2 money on a PSone (which, incidentally, are small as hell and way cool), and ask the electronics manager if they have PS2s in. He tells me an interesting little story about how three people were fired that day for coming in at 6 am and buying them from a cashier who was severly disciplined.

     Fuckers.

     All in all, Im really beginning to hate the PS2, and might even be willing to abstain from purchasing one, except for a few ultimately compelling arguments, such as: Armored Core 2, Silent Hill 2, Final Fantasy X, Resident Evil: Code Veronica Gold, Bust-A-Groove Dance Summit...